X Factor Louis Walsh style review: Christopher Maloney a young Cilla Black? Ella Henderson a young Celine Dion?

by Lisa McGarry

By X Factor Enthusiast Max King (Emkay1)

We’re past the halfway mark people, and I wanted to share with you all something I did week 1. It was my prediction of the final standing in the competition.

01. Ella

02. Jahmene

03. James

04. MK1

05. Lucy

06. Union J

07. Rylan

08. District 3

09. Kye

10. Melanie

11. Jade

12. Carolynne

13. Chris

As you can see after 5 eliminations I’m doing quite well, 4 of my bottom 5 were evicted, not in the right order but still overall it’s good. The only surprises were MK1’s elimination in Week 3, Lucy’s illness and how the hell Chris is still there. Actually now 5 weeks later if I were to update it, maybe I’d swap Union J with District 3 but that’s about it.

Today, I’m going to pay tribute to our longest serving judge, and the only man to have been involved in every single series of the X Factor, Louis Walsh, by comparing our acts to really odd, but strangely accurate, stars.

First off Cheese Baloney, I thought the song choice was funny, but predictable (I’m still standing) glad irony is not lost on him. We finally found out this week who has been voting for him. Liverpool people, people actively seeking to harm the X factor and its credibility, and Chris’ biggest supporter, HIMSELF. If he’s shaking now, you wait until he sees his phone bill. Our Diva from the Mersey finally has a crown to add to his trophy case. He has successfully wrestled the title Queen of Camp, off Rylan. Singing Elton John, dancing around the stage with Kylie’s dancers, there was no way Rylan could top this. He reminds me of a young Cilla Black!

Then we had the Jamazing, Jahmene. This guy is so amazing; I really am at a loss of words to describe him. After every performance I am just left in amazement. WOW WOW WOW. He really is challenging Ella for the title. Ella was the early favourite, and it’s rare for the early favourite to actually win. Forget battle of the bands, the real battle is between Ella and Jahmane. He reminds me of a young Stevie Wonder.

BUT… while we’re on battle of the bands. My running total is 4-1 to District 3 (tell me yours in the comments below) and today, I have to award it again, to District 3. God knows what Grumpy Spice was on about saying that there was something missing. These guys are the full package. No girls, that’s not innuendo. They can do the upbeat jumpy dancy numbers with perfect vocals, and they can also do wonderful ballads, so much so that they made Nicole cry and I love the R&B style. They remind me of a young Blue.

The amazing Ella Henderson now. Desperate to keep her narrow lead. If you thought the American election was tight, you ain’t seen anything yet, just as I thought Jahmene had moved ahead, Ella pulled “Written in the stars” out of the bag, and maintained a narrow lead over the former shelf stacker. Ella and Jahmene are starting to enter another tier of talent leaving the others behind in their wake. She reminds me of a young Celine Dion.

Rylan Clark, as I’ve said before, usually I’m a fan of the joke acts but I wasn’t a fan of Rylan’s at first….now he’s winning me over. As Queen Tulisa said last week when she saved him, the show would be so much duller without him. Every week I wonder what he’s going to do and as soon as the category is revealed I try and guess what is coming from the former model. The Spice Boy gave a really fun party performance tonight. Arlene on the Xtra Factor said he could be bigger than Jedward, I doubt that (he won’t have 3 sell out tours or perform for Obama) but he could very well have some sort of career/success outside of the competition. He’s a born entertainer, he reminds me of a young Michael Jackson!

Union J, I thought it were good, though I didn’t really see the “homage” to the military, other than George wore a camouflage colour jacket. It was a good song, but I had to agree with Grumpy Spice for once, there were a few pitching problems. They remind me of a young Westlife!

Finally James. I have to confess a cardinal sin. I didn’t recognise the Adele song he sang. Everyone else seems to like him, and I think he could make the Final 3, as seen from my Week 1 list above. But I don’t think he’s quite in the same league as Ella and Jahmene, he reminds me of a young Ozzy Osborne.

Now, I get to comment on a guest performance, I don’t usually get a chance, One Direction’s love ballad ‘Little Things’. I didn’t like it, but millions of girls probably did. I prefer the more upbeat stuff you can dance to in a club. Also you could cut the sexual tension with a knife. Did you see they had to put Louis and Harry on opposite ends of the stage to try and stop them from looking each other in the eyes and singing to each other? I felt a bit voyeuristic watching it, and you could see the others, were feeling a bit uncomfortable by it to.

My predictions for the bottom 2, on averaging I’m getting it half right every week, but overall, my Week 1 predictions are fairing a lot better.

My hopes for the bottom 2: Cheese Baloney, and Union J

Who I think will be bottom 2: Rylan and District 3 (purely because others are saying they think they were worse than Union J.)

Tell me your predictions below, and hopefully, if I get permission from the wonderful Lisa McGary join me on here tomorrow for a review of the first day of I’M A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!

Also, check out our X Factor week six chart, how we ranked the contestants and who we rated and slated here…

Lisa McGarry

Lisa has been watching reality TV for too long now. She won't do any housework unless 'Big Brother' announces it over the tannoy and everything she does has to be put to a public vote!